Homeschooling - A Man’s Perspective

Written by Abu Badr.

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds; and Peace and Blessing upon the pinnacle of creation, Mohammed Bin AbdAllah, his Family and his Companions. I witness that there is no deity but Allah and Mohammed is His servant and Messenger.

Many people, Muslim or not, think that home education is mostly the domain of the Woman and a Man’s role is just supportive, if anything. The reality is most Women who consider home schooling or even tutoring at home face some opposition from their husbands and that without the Man’s support it is almost impossible for them to do it successfully.

I am not fully aware of all the reasons, Men who oppose the concept of home education do so, but I might make it a little easier to understand them by presenting my former opposition.

First of all the most obvious and strongest worry that people, in general, have with home education is socialization. Men being mostly involved in issues outside the home and being aware of how important it is to be sociable in all aspects of life there, are immediately aware of this point when they hear Home Schooling. They tend to oppose it on grounds that the child or children will be introverted and lacking in social graces therefore being incapable of forming proper relations with others.

Here is what eliminated this point from my opposition list. This part of the world’s educational system, asides from being Kaffir based (which by itself should eliminate it as an option) concerns itself with socialization more than actual academic subjects. A principal or teacher is more apt to call the parents about ‘Strange Behaviour’ or absences than in regards to poor marks in academics. This stems from the ideals located in their societal basis, their economic system, which is based on ‘Class Conflict’ (Which is basically the poor working hard to be middle class and the middle class working hard to become part of the upper class and each using the one below it for profit and excluding them to secure their own position.) I had first hand knowledge of this I went to a good academic Secondary School because my parents saw this reality in the schools in our neighbourhood, which was a lower class area. They had lower expectations for their students than did the schools in my Grandmother’s neighbourhood, which was an upper-middle area.

I received a decent academic education at a school in my Grandmother’s area but at the cost of my Deen and my self-confidence. This was a result of their method of socialization. For me to list examples of this opinion would require a booklet by itself. The school was almost all Upper Middle Class youth, and they had no problems about making this known to everybody who wasn’t. The Academics was geared to their social level and it was better than even the ‘enriched’ classes in a secondary school just a couple of blocks away. Many a student transferred to that school’s enriched courses only to receive better marks with less work.

The students and teachers created a certain cliquish environment that almost choked whoever was not involved or a member of any of them. Once an outsider, you are almost assured that position for the rest of your years there. Add that to the fact of being a visible minority in a place where there were very few to begin with and you are never going to fit in no matter what you do.

It wasn’t very hard to get beyond this objection of socialization to Home Schooling; but what really drove it home to me are two very important facts.

The first and obviously most important point is the fact that as Muslims we must not entrust Kaffirs with ourselves and definitely our children or their future. If they do not abuse them, they will spoil them and if not that than the environment they create for them will damage their Deen or their confidence or countless other possibilities.

"Let not the believers take for friends or helpers unbelievers rather than believers; if any do that will never be helped by Allah in any way; except if you indeed fear a danger from them. And Allah warns you against (His punishment) Himself, and to Allah’s the final Return." (Qur’an 3-28)

Narrated Sumara bin Jundub: Allah’s Messenger (saws) said, "Anybody (any Muslim) who meets, gathers together, lives, and stays with a Mushrik and agrees to his ways, opinions etc. and enjoys his living with him then he is like him." (Abu Da’ud –The book of Jihad.)

The second reason, as if I need convincing after that, is the kaffir’s own statistics and information about their own inefficiencies in relation to their educational system. There are ample facts in this paper about it, so I won’t repeat them. However one very disturbing reality is that many ‘Islamic schools’, although they are not required to, still insist on using the government’s curriculum's and only add on an extra subject or two for rudimentary Qur’an and Arabic.

I would still prefer to have my wife to myself (after losing her attention and time to the children) and the children attending a proper Islamic educational institute but so far in Canada I have not found a suitable option and am not willing to surrender my children’s future in favour of Hell-Fire.

Whatever I have written that is correct then it is from Allah and whatever I have written that is wrong then it is from me and I ask for His forgiveness

I have spoken about the reasons I was convinced to accept home schooling as a viable option to sending my children to kaffir schools or to schools attempting to ‘Islamasize’ inefficient and admittedly ineffective methods of teaching and curriculum. This time I would like to talk about actually supporting and taking an active role in the children’s education.

It is always easier to criticize and condemn anything and to say there is an alternative; but when it comes to implementation many of us, including me, start to waiver in our dedication. A Muslim must always remember that what we do is for the sake of Allah first and foremost. From experience I have failed many a time and witnessed others fail because they don’t concentrate on a long term goal and then break it down to achievable short-term goals. We must remember what Allah says in the Qur'an :

"And that man can have nothing but what he strives for. And that (the fruit of) his striving will soon come in sight. Then he will be rewarded with a complete reward. And to your Lord is the End (return of everything." (Qur'an 39-42)

This should be our Catalyst and our main goal when we start or aim to do anything. The Prophet (saws) upon the narration of Abu Huraira (R) said:

"When a person is dead, his deeds cease except from three: a) Deeds of a continuous Sadaqah (act of charity) b) Knowledge with which mankind gets benefits c) A righteous, pious son (or a daughter) who begs Allah to forgive his (or her) Parents." (Muslim)

When a person teaches a child properly and Islamically s/he gain two of those three continuous deeds after death and his/her child will probably give out Sadaqah for his/her parent.

Now that we have our motivation for the long term we must break it down into short-term goals to succeed and not have Sheytan make it seem an impossible goal. This comes in on a daily or weekly basis. Remember that a little bit that is constant is better than much that is inconsistent.

I will not lie to you and lead you to believe that everyday I am sitting with my sons and reading to them and teaching them like my Wife does; but I will tell you that every time I have an opportunity I tell him a moral story about the Prophet (saws) or the Sahabah (R) and try a least once a day to read Quran for myself and them. Teaching doesn’t only happen when your trying to teach, actually I’ve been told that most of what children learn, they learn just watching and mimicking.

So, in conclusion remember that the best reward is from Allah and that your Children are an easy way to collect good deeds for a day on which they will be in short supply.

Any action no matter how seemingly insignificant is recorded and Allah multiplies it to whom he wishes like a seed of grain that can produce hundreds. All praise is due to Allah any good comes from him and any mistake or error is from me and may Allah have Mercy upon us all and may he forgive us and give the best of rewards.

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